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Eating Disorders

I've been wondering if I should put this up or not, but I've been wondering if anyone out there has one, too.

I have Anroxia, as well as Bulimia.

But they are not consistant.

Sometimes I can go days with out eating.
Then somedays I eat something, like a cracker, and feel like such a fatty, so Bulimia kicks in.
there is also days I can eat just fine.

I'm not going in to detail as to why I have these diseases, it hurts to much to think about, let alone talk, but basically it was brought on by bulling.

Now a lot of you might think "Why don't they just get over themselves and eat?" or "It's really not that hard not to throw up everything you eat"
But it's not easy, I've tried to do that. These are diseases in your head, like skitzafrenia or depression, phyoligic things.

I guess, I just want to know if there is anyone else out there who is like me at all.

Someone I can talk to, who doesn't think I'm a freak, who understands me in a way.

Replies


It's honestly all mental Thy.<br /> <br /> BECAUSE I am so tall it's very easy for any sort of weight to show. I'm 5'7" (So average to some, but I was always one of the tallest in my schools.)<br /> Whereas the shorter you are, the less fat seems to show through. <br /> <br /> Point and case, <br /> A very good friend that I go out to bars with has the same BMI index as I, so almost the same amount of fat showing on both of us. But because of her stature she can wear clothes that make her look amazing. When I, wearing the same clothes, don't get the same effect.<br /> <br /> She's 5'3" and I'm 5'7". We can wear the same shirt, shorts and skirts.<br /> <br /> Also, the people who have complex about their weight usually DON'T see the other girls in front of them. They think everyone else is normal and beautiful but they themself have the huge flaw.<br /> No, most don't realize they make others feel bad because they are wrapped up in their own warped vision of them self.<br /> See, when I see myself in the mirror I don't see what others see. I automatically see my flaws instead. My friend will say "Aww! You're so beautiful today!!" and in my mind I never had that thought come across my head. :/<br /> <br /> It's a dangerous mental disease that hits MOST people. Maybe not in the weight factor, but in anything else.<br />
Nitrous, its not that, what baffled me is the logical error of a taller, lighter person thinking that they are fat, while someone shorter and heavier than themselves is not fat.
I was at one point one of those "I'm so fat" skinny girls. In middle school, I weighed about 75-80 pounds and I believe I was between 5'4 and 5'6 those three years. <br /> <br /> I can assure you that the comments are not directed at you, and in my case I know I wasn't judging the girls that were bigger than me (I was the smallest one, so I'd have quite the pool) even on a subconscious level. I was diagnosed as anorexic and having BDD in middle school, and the hallucination that I actually did qualify as fat is <b>very</b> real. That does not mean that I see the same flaws in other people.<br /> <br /> If other people's comments (and those made by an anorexic, no less) about their own bodies make you uncomfortable and <b>not</b> concerned for the sickly thin girl in front of you tearing herself down, I'd say that's pretty darn self absorbed. <br /> <br /> You wouldn't get offended if someone with tourettes started swearing at you, right?
I think the "I'm so fat" girls are either extremely self conscious (possibly even anorexic/bulimic) or just incredibly ignorant to the feelings of anybody over their weight
Sometimes I wonder if skinny people who call themselves 'hideously fat' realize they are unintentionally insulting everyone larger than them that is within earshot. I was super thin from the ages of 7 to 12 because my step dad wouldn't let me in the kitchen, but then when I reached middle school I gained weight. I was and still am short, but I weighed 30 pounds more than the other 5 girls in my grade. (very small school.) Despite touching the supposed 'obese' point of the BMI, my doctor insisted that I was actually at an ideal weight for my bone structure, and if I lost weight, I would look boney. The other girls complained that they were fat constantly, despite not one of them weighing more than 110 pounds. Whenever I spoke up, they insisted that I was somehow not fat, but they were. I figured they were all either lying, or I must have had some sort of skeletal birth defect everyone was too polite to tell me about.
I can sort of relate to you in my own way.<br /> <br /> I have sort of a "controlled" mental issue. <br /> I have a terrifying fear of being obese. It actually stemmed from my mother being over weight since I was born. It's always really embarrassed me in an extremely shallow way. One thing to also note; is my mother was a full time worker--she never really made much food wise. Everything I ate growing up was out of a box or can.<br /> <br /> Growing up it was extremely hard for my self-sesteem. I have TERRIBLE acne problems, both genetics from my Father's and Mother's side. (I have been on so many different medications that my Doctor told me that I had exhausted every prescription she could try and that I needed to go to a specialist.) So because of this my self-esteem has been EXTREMELY low.<br /> That sort of pressure caused such an embarrassment of myself during high school, that I had an unhealthy obsession with something I COULD control. My weight. I started growing an irrational fear from not wanting to become like my mother. It grew and grew.<br /> I would go days without eating to try to keep my weight down.<br /> I didn't do the calorie thing, or diets or anything. I would just stop eating and sometimes binge. I was to the point where at LEAST once a month if not more frequent would I find myself throwing up unintentionally. It was all because of my infrequent diet. (This also did not help my skin either.)<br /> <br /> I've always been right at my recommended weight. (120lbs) so it was all psychological.<br /> Honestly being 21 I've wised up a lot compared to high school.<br /> I still have times where I refuse to eat just because I am now 145lbs and though I am still healthy, I sometimes I have tiny freak outs feeling I need to be down to high school skinny. But I've learned to control it for the most part.<br /> I was sick of feeling like poop and I started researching foods that would be easy to grab on the run and store while at work. I bring lots of snacks instead of full meals.<br /> Typically, I'll bring some sort of bread (my weakness is everything bagels) fruits and veggies, as well as things like applesauce and cream of wheat.<br /> Me bringing the healthy (minus the bagel) sort of food helps me maintain the weight without having my freak outs. It's really hard to overcome, but honestly if you want it you can. I can't say if it will be easy for someone with conditions like you, but try to be mentally strong. When you feel good about yourself it also helps a LOT. Keep friends who have a positive aura and love to say nice things. <br /> <br /> I wish you good luck and sorry for my long ramblings!
I am made fun of at school because i have a naturally skinny body and everyone calls me anorexia (drives me nuts but i ingore it). I eat a lot especially when it comes to chinese food, or chicken noodle. It took me all winter and summer to gain 20 pounds and i was doing a lot of active stuff.
I'm not boney at all, suprisingly, it's mostly this genetic cr.ap
ohhh i getcha<br /> yeah i had a friend like that :(
I'd like to clarify. By bony, I did not mean run of the mill thin, but 'looks-like-someone-put-a-skeleton-in-a-tan-vacume-sealed-bag' thin, and I have seen people people aspire to that. ._.

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