No longer in love with my girlfriend? (longggg.)
First off I would like to say that I do identify as bisexual. Growing up as a little girl I knew I was different and I found myself attracted to more than just guys, but to the same sex. I am a teenager..Well, I am dating a girl right now who is named Jonnie. Jonnie is absolutely amazing. We were friends quite awhile before we ever started dating. I was once MADLY in love with her. We had an off and on relationship and for now it's on. I find myself still in love with my ex who is a male, Brandon. My relationship with him was off and on since we were kids. My relationship with Brandon was always full of drama. He had attempted 2 almost successful suicide attempts over me not long ago. We had broken up for a couple of months and me and my ex girlfriend Jonnie had somehow gotten back together.
I still talk to Brandon through texts and see him occasionally and it makes me feel terrible because I find I'm falling back in love with him and losing my love for my girlfriend. Brandon is moving to Tennessee August 2nd and I feel like I'm running out of time to explain to him how I still feel for him.
But then there's my girlfriend Jonnie.
When she tells me she loves me and how beautiful I am and how she can't live without me.. It makes me feel so poopty because I don't think I feel the same about her anymore. I liked it better when we were strictly best friends. I don't want to break Jonnies heart if she's truly in love with me. I however do not want to lead both of them on or cause either one of them to do something stupid like Brandon had in the past.
It's all so confusing having feelings for 2 people who offer you 2 different experiences and loves. I have memories with both of them I share a bond with both of them.
Ugh. I feel like I'm going insane. :/ Any experiences with anything similar? Any advice? I sure could use it.