Basically, my stepfather repeatedly ra.ped me from the time I was about 13 until I was 17. I finally decided to call the police and tell them, since the main reason I didn't was because of his threats to kill my father (who had died now).<br /> He'd often make me choose between letting him kill my dog (who I raised from 2 days old - very attached..) or beating me as much as he wanted.<br /> He also held me a foot off the ground by my neck because I stood up too straight when he told me to stand up after hitting me. It really messed up my throat and ears, and I haven't been able to hear myself since then. I had to give up Choir because of it.<br /> He decided I wasn't allowed to have a job, have friends over to the house, or ever go to a friend's house, or out of the house without him there, for fear that I'd say something.<br /> I finally came out to the police and my mother when I was sick one day, and had to stay home from school. He went to work, and I called the police to tell them, and then woke up my mother and told her everything.<br /> After my mother forced me to go into a mental hospital for three months, because she "couldn't handle me," I had to lie to get out (saying it was my fault for the things he did to me), and I was guilt-tripped into saying I lied about everything, so that he could get out and my mother could have her husband back.<br /> My mother then proceeded to kick me out of the house to go live with my aunt and uncle (his brother and his brother's wife) because I was a sl.ut and a sk.ank and tried to steal her man away from her, what a filthy wh.ore I was etc...<br /> I was also forced to go and spend time with them because my stepfather somehow convinced my mother, and he proceeded to continue to molest me while I was over there visiting.<br /> <br /> Eventually, I ran away. and they got scared I was going to report him or something and have him sent to jail again, so they used the internet and hired private investigators to track me down, find out where I was living, who I was living with, all the information they could about the guy, etc.<br /> <br /> They also left threatening emails and Instant Messages on my messengers, saying they were going to "track me down and get me back" - note, at this time, I'm 18, and can do whatever the hell I want...<br /> <br /> Eventually, I started talking to them again because they were being.. well, civil. I should have known better.<br /> <br /> I went to visit, to pick up some of my things that I'd had to leave behind, and my stepfather managed to corner me, hold me down by my hair, and tell me he was going to burn down the house I was living in, kill my cats and my boyfriend, and make me watch before killing me. He was drunk, admittedly, and claimed he didn't remember saying any of it, but it still haunted me for a while...<br /> <br /> Then, with the breakup between myself and the boyfriend, I moved once more, only I didn't tell anyone where I was moving, and I haven't registered myself here yet, still. Though I have to do that this month, I'm still hesitant, because I've cut off all ties with them, told them not to contact me. I even had to call the police because they reported me as a missing person AFTER I told them I wasn't going to tell them where I moved (falsely claiming I was missing).<br /> <br /> My mother also, when I was growing up and even when I was talking to her after moving, would remind me that I was a mistake, never meant to be born, and that she wished I would have been a boy anyway and that if I were a boy, or if I hadn't been born, my dad wouldn't have left her. :/<br /> <br /> My father was a good man, though. Sure, he got drunk more than he probably should have, but he never hit me. Never yelled at me. Would calmly sit me down and explain that I shouldn't do bad things, and told me what would happen if I did choose to do those things, and who it would affect.<br /> I miss him, and it's sad that he died of Leukemia.. but I still have to remember that if he hadn't, I would have had a reason to still not tell anyone about what was going on.<br /> <br /> As another note, my stepfather is Bipolar, and refuses to take medication for it. He can be nice and polite and a wonderful person one moment, and then turn around and want to kill you the next. He's also impossible to read if he's joking or not, because he says things with a straight face, in a way that someone who would be serious would say things.<br /> <br /> Surprisingly, this hasn't messed up my sex-life, and I'm still able to make friends with and be around men, and have a boyfriend and a healthy sexual relationship with him. I've come to terms with the fact that it was this one man who did these things, and he is the only one I'm afraid of.
